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The Truth of All Love

by Ben Rusch

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1.
I haven’t felt so lonesome, babe Since last you held me in your arms The moon shone cold and sinister And the stars were bitter charms That night when we fell away That night when we fell That night when we fell away That night when we fell Through drifting smoke I first saw you, babe And time froze like the blood in my veins Heaven revealed in the gleam of your eyes To my desert heart you brought life with your gentle rain Our days and nights were a carnival, babe The air burned with limitless pleasure My world was contained in the world of your smile And each bead of your sweat I claimed as priceless treasure That night when we fell away That night when we fell That night when we fell away That night when we fell What caused you to turn your back on me babe? What caused the world of your smile to fade? My heart knew its truth before you said a word I knew that all our promises were unmade That night when we fell away That night when we fell That night when we fell away That night when we fell I saw my death framed in your eyes, babe And time froze like the blood in my veins Heaven lay abandoned in the frost of your eyes My heart returned to desert without the touch of your gentle rain My world became a wilderness, babe As I sifted the sands of my brutal despair I wondered at the depths my sorrow could plunge Holding the mirror’s gaze with a vacant stare The years that we had shared between us, babe Were fading memories, sterile and cold All the secrets that were left to tell Remain promises untold That night when we fell away That night when we fell That night when we fell away That night when we fell
2.
And I will know your sacred ocean, the depthless sleep you dream And I will know the mystery of your breathing And I will be there through your nights when you dream And I will be your shelter when the storms rage And I will gather all your sorrow when the stars shatter in a frozen scream Yes, I will gather your blue aching sadness like diamonds from a sunwashed stream. And I will pray in the shadows you cast when you dream And I will anoint your sacred flesh with my tears And I will banish the ghosts from the world where you dream And I will wrestle your demons on a timeless shore And I will gather all your sorrow when the stars shatter in a frozen scream Yes, I will gather your blue aching sadness like diamonds from a sunwashed stream. And I will be the colours in the magical weave that you dream And I will be the trembling witness washed in your eyes And I will love you for a long time because you’re holy And I will love you for a long time because you’re holy
3.
I wrote a song of sorrow Of smokestack tears to banish the sun I wrote a song for the one I loved She the world, my dream entire She now faded, she now gone She my vision of the kingdom to come She my vision of the kingdom to come. I wrote a song of sorrow Of a darkness cold beyond the sun I wrote a song to cloak her absence She the world, my dream entire She now faded, she now gone She my vision of the kingdom to come She my vision of the kingdom to come. When this heart’s wreckage is laid to rest And the cold earth closes on these brittle bones I will enter her pearlbright kingdom And she my vision will again be known. I wrote a song of sorrow Of memories born beneath a dying sun I wrote a song for one now lost She the world, my dream entire She now faded, she now gone She my vision of the kingdom to come She my vision of the kingdom to come. When this heart’s wreckage is laid to rest And the cold earth closes on these brittle bones I will enter her pearlbright kingdom And she my vision will again be known Yes, I will enter her pearlbright kingdom And she my vision will again be known.
4.
When my eyes are stripped naked in startling revelation And the sun’s a festering wound above a dying lung-scorched plain When the raw bleeding horror of the world is revealed And the masks of delusion can no longer be sustained When we conjure the poisons of our own destruction And the spells we cast are born of alchemies profane When the vision of beauty is lost to curdling tides of corruption And the promise of hope gibbers only in the minds of the insane She comes to me in my hour of weakness When my strength it fails, when resistance is vain She comes to me and is a world of silence She comes to me and is a world of rain To my shallow cupped hands by grace she is delivered She is a moment’s redemption midst this world of pain. When the veils of the dreaming are plundered and torn And the memory of love is all that remains When the poet’s moon is a blood-streaked tear And the stars in their paling are the ghosts of exhausted flames When desire is known only by its absence And the mirror turns away in quiet disdain When the heart is sorrow, an ashen wilderness And the soul is crippled and broken and maimed She comes to me in my hour of weakness When my strength it fails, when resistance is vain She comes to me and is a world of silence She comes to me and is a world of rain To my shallow cupped hands by grace she is delivered She is a moment’s redemption midst this world of pain.
5.
I will love you until the end of days Until this world trembles upon the brink of extinction Until all shadows quiver, eventually to fade Cast by the dying sun’s exhausted rays. For you are the rose and you are the fire The dream of all wonder, my eternal desire For you are the vision and you are the light The mystery of all beauty, my darkest velvet night. And now I conjure you on a bonewhite shore I have given you my everything but long to give you more But as the ghost of you shimmers into final absence I am left to commune with heartstorms and violence. For you are the grief and you are the sadness The well of all suffering, my unutterable madness For you are the sterile wasteland and you are the desolation The heart’s truth of all sorrow, my tears of resignation. I will love you until the end of days Until this world trembles upon the brink of extinction Until all stars quiver, eventually to fade And an exhausted universe collapses into decay.
6.
The ballads are soaked in whisky And our tears are of London Gin I never thought that to fall in love Could be such a wretched sin. We drink to bury our sorrows And watch the hours slip away They become all our lost tomorrows But we drink, it’s our only way. The only way to contend with the sadness That seems to drip from the very walls The only way to deal with the madness That consumes us, one and all. We listen to the old songs Lose ourselves to their sad refrain The poet’s voice is cracked and raw It is the mirror to our dream’s demise The echo of our sordid pain. We drink to still the wretched heart Where the dark breath of the furies holds sway Pounding their fists in their senseless art But we drink, it’s our only way. The only way to contend with the melancholy rage When thought’s dark legions descend The only way to contend with this dying age Until we reach oblivion’s end. We listen to the old songs Lose ourselves in our own sad refrain The poet’s voice is cracked and raw It is the mirror to our dream’s demise The echo of our sordid pain.
7.
How long must I wait until the ocean? How long must I wait until the rain? How long must I wait upon the silence? To sanctify my heart once again To sanctify my heart once again. How long must I wait until the sorrows pass? How long must I wait until the rain? How long must I wait to trace the curve of your smile? To sanctify my heart once again To sanctify my heart once again. How long until the vision forms How long until the gentle rain How long must I wait until the world is reborn To sanctify my heart once again How long must I wait until the shadows lift? How long must I wait until the rain? How long must I wait to swim your sacred depths? To sanctify my heart once again To sanctify my heart once again. How long must I wait until the healing hour? How long must I wait until the rain? How long must I wait to drink your secret tears? To sanctify my heart once again To sanctify my heart once again. How long until the falling star How long until the gentle rain How long must I wait until the rising moon To sanctify my heart once again How long must I wait to hear your song of songs? How long must I wait until the rain? How long must I wait to enter the realm of your senses To sanctify my heart once again To sanctify my heart once again.
8.
We fade into the grey undone Where the silver brows of the angels tremble as they sleep We shall drift into the grace of unbecoming Dreaming soft green fathoms oceans deep To sow the seeds of our immortality A shining harvest of rapture to reap We shall taste the fruit of glory’s kingdom And ecstatic illumination shall be the tears that we weep O come to me my sweetest love And take my unworthy hand O come to me my sweetest love We shall take flight together through the Promised Land Lost to the delicate embrace of sweetest smothering We shall sing songs of silence to banish all pain Folded within the arms of tender forgiveness Our arid souls shall be reborn in the crystal rain Such dreaming shall find realization Midst the swirling shades of deepest night As we are welcomed into sublimity As we are swallowed by oblivion’s majestic light So let us spread our tarnished wings And into that Promised Land take flight O come to me my sweetest love And take my unworthy hand O come to me my sweetest love We shall vanish together through the Promised Land
9.
You’re the ghost in my world all-consuming Where mirrors hold memories in petrified silence Where the trees scratch sinister through winter darkness Etching my dreams with blood storms and violence Where time is the fragile witness To the death of hours, the falling of the days Where you drift at the limits of vision A Terrible Beauty held within a moon-washed face Where the stars burn cold their judgement In my scarred yet lucid imagination Where the moon crumbles to jaundiced dust In my fists of darkness and degradation I would drown to be born again In the soft green depths of your ocean And I would happily surrender To your deathworld mystery And I sing you into existence eternal For the ghost of you is the heart of me The ghost of you is the heart of me Yes, I sing you into existence eternal For the ghost of you is the heart of me Where your voice is tidal memory Swelling shimmering bittersweet blue Drowning my heart-dictated senses With soul-burning visions of you You’re the ghost in my world of heart-secret tears Of fallen stars, shattered prayers and sorrow Whispering the perpetual death of dreams Revealing agonies we must face tomorrow My eyes still seek the distance of horizons Where the grace of your shadow may one day fall And these words I write are clouds across my heart My end and my beginning – my all I would drown to be born again In the soft green depths of your ocean And I would happily surrender To your deathworld mystery And I sing you into existence eternal For the ghost of you is the heart of me The ghost of you is the heart of me Yes, I sing you into existence eternal For the ghost of you is the heart of me
10.
Cool white of infinite perception is my truth in madness A shimmering reflection that swamps the night O cascade of tears, yet buries at least for the hour My darkest brooding of fears My companion in the hours that weep with sorrow My grace at eventide and my pain tomorrow Dragged now with razors through hours dark and deep When the normal, the breeding, when such bastards sleep And I in my scaffold of self-loathing and fears End berating the mirror into naked, bloody tears That are nothing but symbol, my final disgrace As the sun rises again to a world I cannot face My companion in the hours that weep with sorrow My grace at eventide and my pain tomorrow My companion in the hours that weep with sorrow My grace at eventide and my pain tomorrow For me heart, my soul, my vision seem sordid, yet divine Perhaps it is the lonliness, perhaps it is the wine My companion in the hours that weep with sorrow My grace at eventide and my pain tomorrow
11.
Emotions are exhausted The dream itself runs dry The world has turned to darker days Our truth revealed beneath impassive skies. How could such devotion endure? Ill-founded to struggle on shifting sands No matter the depth of our desires and longing The prayers we shaped in gentlest hands. Let the world turn on without me Let the hours in silence bleed away Let me gradually fade from your conscious mind In the enduring depth of your dreams to lay. Our love was born in shadow and sorrow Our hearts to the realm of suffering We must now retreat into our secret selves There are no more songs of joy to sing. Let the world turn on without me Let the hours in silence bleed away Let me gradually fade from your conscious mind In the enduring depth of your dreams to lay.
12.
I can still taste the wine on your tongue The sweat of sweetest death on your skin I can still see the dream in your eyes (Infinite wonder, infinite surprise) Tell me, how could such a love be a sin? How could such a love be a sin? I can still trace the curve of your smile For which the Gods I would eternally defy I can still see the dream in your eyes (Limitless horizons, limitless skies) Tell me, how could such a love be a lie? How could such a love be a lie? I can still feel the tender mercy of your breath Shaping starlight to the mystery of song I can still see the dream in your eyes (Limitless horizons, limitless skies) Tell me, how could such a love be so wrong? How could such a love be so wrong? I can still touch the sorrow of your tears Their silver glistening heartbitter pain I can still see the dream in your eyes (Infinite wonder, infinite surprise) Tell me, how could such a love cause so much pain? How could such a love cause so much pain?

about

The Truth of All Love is a story of love unfulfilled.

The music, lyrics and vocal taking the listener on an emotional roller-coaster.

credits

released January 1, 2011

Lyrics by Simon Charlton
Music by Ben Rusch
Artwork by Cosmo Wallace
Recorded by Ben Rusch, June - December 2010

Musicians:
Bimbi Urquhart - Viola
Ben Rusch - Piano, Guitars, Bass, Accordeon, Mandolin, Saxophones, Percussion

(c) Ben Rusch & Simon Charlton, 2010

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